Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I can't turn off my feet"
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Randomize