Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
