dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
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