You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
We had to coat check the pizza.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Randomize
