...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
