so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
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