I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
