Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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