i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize