To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
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