if you like me you must not know who I am
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
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