How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
