her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
i think i have two assholes
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Randomize
