So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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