apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
