I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
