Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Randomize
