More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
