She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
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