Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Randomize
