kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
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