But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
