After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
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