Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
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