And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Randomize
