I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
