i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
