there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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