Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
