What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Randomize
