normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
