I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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