A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
bring money and cleavage
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
