OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Randomize
