Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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