check it out our google latitudes are spooning
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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