what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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