can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
This baby is an asshole
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize