There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize