The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize