I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Randomize
