please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
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