is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize