We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
