Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I need to sanitize my soul.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
