Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
