I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
