I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
