he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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