Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
