He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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