Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
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