Don't make out with my wife yet
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
