i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
