The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
