If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
I party with great urgency now.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
