Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
