Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
