he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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